The Despair Disease Doesn't Work Like Monokuma Wants
by Maren with an M
Summary: When the monokubs screw up the despair disease, only one student receives the disease, and their symptoms are rather underwhelming. Also hunger games spoilers? Somehow?


Shuchi sits in the cafeteria with his friends one morning, listening to them talk about the books they had read in the library. Kaede started a book club with some of the other students, which had been pretty successful so far. Most of his classmates are situated on or around his table, all discussing a popular novel. The only ones not included in this book club are Maki, who's sitting near the door, and Hoshi, who is sitting at a nearby table with Himiko, who claims books are 'too much of a pain to read'. Everyone is either engaging conversation, or simply enjoying each other's presence. Everyone, that is, except for Kokichi, Shuichi realizes with a start.

Swiveling his head around, Shuichi looks more closely around the room, hoping he'd just overlooked the boy. Not finding him, Shuichi taps Kaede's shoulder. She finishes what she was saying about the merits of symbolism, and then turns to face him.

"What's up Shuichi? Think my argument isn't sound?" She asks him with a grin.

"A-ah no it's not that. I just noticed that, well, Kokichi isn't here with us."

Her eyes widened at that, and it was clear to see she was concerned about whatever the short boy could be doing. He was a well known troublemaker after all, and there were a number of pranks he could be setting up at this very moment. She wasn't the only one who reached this conclusion it seemed.

"Ohh what is he planning? I swear if he pulls another 'bucket of water over the door' trick, I'll strangle him." Kaito grumbles.

As if summoned by all the conversation about himself, Kokichi chose that exact moment to walk in the door.

"Kokichi, if you wouldn't mind, please explain your lateness." Kirumi said, looking nervous at the prospect of whatever potential mess

awaited her.

"Whaaaaaa?" He said, offering nothing else as an answer. Shirogane squinted at him.

"...Kokichi? What are you doing?" She asked suspiciously

"Whaaaaa?" He says again, in the same tone of voice. His eyebrows furrow slightly, and he shuts his mouth.

"Are you quoting a vine?" Rantaro asks, humor in his voice

"Oh. It's an avocado. Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks." Kokichi says, pointing at rantaro's hair.

"Gonta doesn't understand. Why does Kokichi think Rantaro is a fruit?" Gonta asked, scratching his head in confusion.

Monokuma walks in through the still open door, grumbling. It was odd to see him walking places, rather than just popping up randomly all the time.

"Those stupid cubs, messing up my despair disease." He grumbled. Then, he cleared his voice. "I suppose you kids are wondering what's happening to Mr. Liar over there. You see, I told my cubs to release this suuuuuper cool motive called the 'despair disease' on you unsuspecting f***ers. It's a terrifying fever that changes the person's very character! How spooky indeed. Unfortunately, they screwed it up, and now only one person gets to experience my epic motive, and he's qUOTING VINES. THAT'S IT. I'M DONE, YOU CAN DEAL WITH HIM YOURSELVES."

As he talks, Monokuma got more and more angry, until, at the end of his statement, he threw his hands up in the air and stalked out of the room.

It's silent in the cafeteria for a couple seconds, everyone shocked at the pure absurdity of the situation.

"Aw f*** I can't believe you've done this." Kokichi says, facepalming in annoyance at the current situation. How's he supposed to enact any sort of plan when all he can say is vine references?

Wait.. he shifts his hand up to his forehead and, sure enough, he's burning up. Explains the blurry vision too.

"Uhm. Are you ok, Kokichi?" Shuichi asks, stepping forward to feel his forehead for himself. Kokichi realized that he must have shown his

surprise on his face. Rookie mistake, he couldn't let anyone see his weaknesses for the chance they'd take advantage of them.

"YOU NOT MY DAD! You also wanna hear something ugly *** f***in'." Kokichi says, dodging around his arm, towards the table where the second hunger games book lies.

"Rue dies motherf***er," He says when he sees it. Weird part is, he's never read or seen hunger games, and he did not know that.

Tenko shrieks, covering her ears. "WE DIDN'T GET TO THAT PART YET YOU DEGENERATE!"

She wacks the back of his head in frustration. Kokichi claps a hand over that area, hissing.

"A-ah are you ok?" Shichi asks.

"They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine, but you're not really fine but you just can't get into it cuz they can't understand" He mutters, rubbing that area.

Tenko shakes out her hand. "Wow, he's really burning up."

Shuichi attempts to place his hand on kokichi's forehead, and finally succeeds after kokichi dodging a few more times.

"Monokuma wasn't kidding about the fever part." He said nervously.

"Then I think we should get him in bed, immediately." Kirumi says, placing a hand on Kokichi's back and steering him away from the group.

"Anything for you, beyonce." Kokichi says, swaying a little bit as he's led out of the room. Shuichi sighs. It's going to be a long day.


End file.
